Skip to main content

Reality Check

growing up
Two things I really really hated to hear when I was growing up – ‘You’ll understand when you grow up’ & ‘That’s what you say now, but just wait.’ The first I stopped believing quite a bit before now, seeing as I’m now 25 and still don’t understand things. I don’t get why staying up past 10 is a punishable offence or why I need permission to get my hair styled even though I’m 26 going on 27. I’m as grown up as it is possible to get & no closer to enlightenment.

As for seeing things differently when I’m older or in this case when I have my own kids, there’s just one way to find out. One sticking point between my mom and me has been how much control parents should have over the behaviour, thoughts & feelings of their adult offspring. I say none while she says all. Will I be singing the same tune when I’m 50 and my kids 20? How do I find out? Time to put my money where my mouth is & my words on paper aka my blog. Reality Check time. Will an older & wiser me look back & laugh at my naiveté? I rather hope I can point to this post and laugh in the face of all who predicted otherwise.

The 5 Commandments
  1. Do not go to jail. Unless necessary.
  2. Do not get addicted to drugs/cigarettes/alcohol/money. Ain't worth it kid.
  3. Never change yourself for others. Do it only if you’re convinced you were wrong.
  4. Subject to the above, Be Happy & Enjoy Life!
I’m pretty sure that covers the lot. I hope I can raise kids who can figure out the rest by themselves. Now if only I can remember this list and keep things in perspective while my 5 year old empties the ink bottle on my cashmere or the 20 year old wants to pierce an eyebrow!

P.S: Remember that jewellery is just carbon and gadgets just silicon. Now you’re all set.
Labels:

Comments

  1. KhushbooFebruary 1, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Well said girl!

    I agree to every point on short and simple list of yours. Hope we don't add much to it when we turn 50. :) ... And we never make our kids live our life rather than their own.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shilpa JFebruary 2, 2012 at 4:27 AM

    Hopefully we'll be too busy living our lives so we have no need of theirs ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Abhilash BingiMarch 10, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    That's a pretty good list I must say, but I have some reservations about the first one, and don't think the third one is really a commandment.

    My list would have this as number one:
    1. Don't be an asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shilpa JMarch 11, 2012 at 9:12 PM

    I kinda assumed that any kid of mine would be the kind who would be called an asshole by the people who aren't supposed to know such things :) (you know holier than thou type) but maybe I should just replace my 3 with your 1.
    Coz yeah that isn't really a commandment. What reservations do you have about 1?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abhilash BingiMarch 12, 2012 at 12:31 AM

      Being an asshole is different from being called an asshole according to me.

      But I don't fully understand what you mean by "I kinda assumed that any kid of mine would be the kind who would be called an asshole by the people who aren't supposed to know such things" ?

      Delete
    2. Shilpa JMarch 12, 2012 at 1:28 AM

      You know the kind of people who say you shouldn't swear or watch ftv and who know what's best for the rest of the earth? What's the word for them aah sanctimonious that's it.
      But yeah I appreciate the distinction too.
      Kinda like what I told my sis, any guy who can call himself a pretentious prick can't be all that bad ;)

      Delete
    3. Abhilash BingiMarch 12, 2012 at 2:54 AM

      It's a shame you can't +1 comments here ;) and its a pain in the ass the ass to go through recaptcha hoops to post a comment!
      Google, are you listening? (Damn, can't + mention anyone either!)

      Delete
    4. Abhilash BingiMarch 12, 2012 at 2:56 AM

      Can't edit comments either! Grrrrrr

      Do us a favour and start posting you blogs on G+ !

      Delete
    5. Shilpa JMarch 12, 2012 at 5:22 AM

      I usually put up the links to my posts on Google+. Maybe I missed this one I don't know.

      Delete
  5. Abhilash BingiMarch 11, 2012 at 9:35 PM

    Going to jail can happen due to any number of reasons, including going against the authority. But if he/she believes in something truly and it goes against the beliefs of the authority at that time, then he/she should not give up on their values just because it may land them in jail.

    I know it's a very long shot, but when you are talking about leading your life by a set of commandments, better be thorough than sorry. Just my 2 cents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shilpa JMarch 11, 2012 at 9:47 PM

      I guess I didn't think that part through. I was thinking more along the lines of doing stupid shit and going to jail for it (drunk driving, road rage etc). I think I'll change it - don't go to jail, except when you have to.

      Delete
    2. Shilpa JMarch 11, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      You actually wrote he/she. Applause.

      Delete
    3. Abhilash BingiMarch 12, 2012 at 12:26 AM

      Yeah, but later got too lazy to use "him/her" and used "their" and "them" instead. :P
      Seriously though, you are the only one who observes these stuff. The applause is much appreciated.

      Delete
    4. Shilpa JMarch 12, 2012 at 1:22 AM

      Right back at you, you noticed my apostrophe didn't you? :) and like I said you're the first I've ever met!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Don’t We Raise Our Sons like We Do Our Daughters?

This post originally appeard in Women's Web: Why Don’t We Raise Our Sons like We Do Our Daughters? One of the hot button topics right now in Indian media is the safety of women – or rather how our country doesn't really care about half its population. From rape, sexual assault, harassment (in streets, public transport, nearly every public place) to violence perpetrated on women, Indians are finally getting around to discussing taboo topics. One refrain that caught my eye throughout these debates – both online and off – is the fact that the reaction of the majority of Indians is the same: girls should stay at home, not go out after dark, dress appropriately and so on if they want to stay safe. No one seems to bat an eyelid when laying down these precautions for women. Except that the reality is women would be far safer if all the men simply DID NOT RAPE or HARASS any person that looks remotely female. No one has to stay at home and become a hermit! That got me th
3 comments
Read more

Arranged Versus Love Marriage

This post originally appeared in Women's Web:  Arranged Versus Love Marriage: Here's Why Things Are Changing In 21st-century India, change is so rapid that we barely have time to get used to something before some new trend is on the horizon. And I'm not just talking about technology here. Whether it is human behavior, relationships, societal or cultural norms, Indian society – along with the rest of the world – today is hardly recognizable to my parents or their parents. It's not a surprise that the institution of marriage and the process of finding a life partner is also undergoing a metamorphosis. Perhaps this is one of the areas where the gap between generations is the most obvious. Almost every day, there is a TV show or media report or blog post talking about arranged vs. love marriages. So I figured I would present my take on it as well! Whenever anyone talks about arranged versus love marriages - I don't know why they are always portrayed as opposing
3 comments
Read more

One Step Up

Radha Radha knew that Lakshmi was eyeing her sari, though no expression showed on her face. All the maids thought she was arrogant for not talking to them but Radha had never been one of those people who thought her caste made her a better person. It had just been easier not to talk to anyone when she had first come to the city. Besides, these maids never had anything much to talk about except gossip and no one knew better than her how much damage could be caused when women gossiped! It was gossip that made her believe in Chandrasekhar. That he was a famous author, pretending to be a wastrel and swindler for his latest novel. He had been so charming, she had fallen for him completely. Her parents had died when she was 13 and she had always wanted someone to take care of her. She had been so happy. Until the day she woke up to find that he had disappeared and her house sold without her knowledge. He had turned out to be a swindler, pretending to be a famous author. She had been l
2 comments
Read more