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Showing posts from May, 2010

Survival Guide To LIC (Part 2)

4 More Simple Rules to Survive in LIC – (…continued) SIDS – System Is Down Syndrome Say you want to check how your policy is doing. You go down to your branch and ask them. Couldn’t be simpler you think. Instead, hilarity ensues - You: “I want to check my policy status.” (he looks like he wants to kill me) LIC: “Policy number?” (jus coz you’ve got nothing better to do…) You: “xxxxxxxxx” (he really wants to kill me, but this is his job) LIC: “System Is Down!” (serves him right! wants to know does he…) You: “Is there nothing you can do?” (please let there be) LIC: “No, System Is Down.” (don’t you get it? its code for GO AWAY) You: “I’ll get it if I come back tomorrow?” (please say yes) LIC: “Sure, why not?”   Next day – Lather, Rinse, Repeat!!! BIAR – Boss Is Always Right Familiar to all the people who have ever had a bad boss (seemingly most of us), LIC is chockfull of ‘I’m always right’ bosses and ‘Yes Boss’ suck ups. This is a mystery I

Survival Guide To LIC (Part I)

Many of you must have wondered - so how do I survive in the cult? I won’t change and the cult cannot, so what happens when the irresistible force meets the immovable object ? Well they adapt and they survive. So, if god forbid, any of you want to join LIC even after repeated !Do Not Enter! signs posted by yours truly, here’s the ultimate survival guide to LIC - applicable only if you are not already an LICian. Caution: Read and apply at your own risk. I declaim all responsibility as to what will happen to you in spite of / thereof. 5 Simple Rules To Survive in LIC - CYA – Cover Your Ass This corporate acronym actually had its origins in LIC, where it is taken to new heights never before seen by the private realm. The ultimate pinnacle of achievement – do something wrong and let another take the fall and then you say “wonder why some people do things like this?” 10CoT – 10 Cups of Tea Official drink of LIC. Don’t drink tea or coffee? What! Surely you jes