Americans have a tradition: Grow up, go to college (if you can afford it!), figure out what you want to do with your life while you’re there and then well, you can do it or you can change course. After all that’s what life’s about. Einstein was a clerk in a patent office while Bell taught deaf people. But it’s not their day job that they’re known for.
Meanwhile Indians also have a tradition: Grow up, go to college (study that which will pay well) and go get that well paying job. If, horror of horrors (!), you discover that you want to do something other than what you are studying and/or working on, well tough luck. You already took the road well traveled and you are not allowed to change it willy nilly!
As if an entire society’s anti-risk tendency & fear of failure wasn’t enough obstacles, if you are a woman, then you have a whole new set of problems. Don’t believe me? Come, take a trip down the rabbit hole (bring something to eat, this will take a while)
If you’ve been following my blog at all (and if you haven’t-shame on you!) you know that I’m not exactly working at my dream job. Hell, it’s not even close to a this-job-sucks-but-I-do-it-coz–it-pays-well kinda job. If tomorrow I wake up to find that LIC imploded, I wouldn’t shed a tear. But what’s my alternative? Either I can find a new job and then quit or I can quit to preserve my sanity and then look for a job, since even quitting cannot be a simple affair @Life Is Complicated company (takes 3 months dammit!)
Of course, what I want to work on next and if I’m able to build it out into a career are serious issues that I’ve to consider before moving on, but why for the love of God do I have to worry about my future husband and his parents? Yes, You heard it right. It’s not enough that I’ve to figure out what I’m good at vs. what I like doing vs. if either of these will keep me covered in doubloons, I also have to worry about currently non existent people in my future life!
My dad’s reasoning has its merits though, I’ll give him that. How? I’ll walk you through it. Imagine you are the mom/dad of an eligible bachelor. Isn’t it reasonable for you to define the specifications of your future daughter-in-law? You have every right to know before hand if she’s going to be working or not. And some of you would be especially attracted to a bahu who has a govt. job. If she changes her mind after the wedding tamasha, well that’s her bad luck! You knew what you were getting yourself into, girl. I wanted a housewife for my son and I’ll damn well get one. I don’t blame you at all, not one iota.
So my dad has asked me to make up my mind. Do I want to be a housewife or work? Coz that will change what kind of groom he can look for. Some families want a working daughter in law while others don’t. So what’s it gonna be? For those of you who have followed me this far & still posses a functioning, reasoning mind (i.e, your brains haven’t exploded all over the place) I now have to figure out the following & in a hurry:
- Would I get another job?
- Will that job fit my educational qualifications?
- Do I want another job?
The short answer – I don’t know, I don’t care and probably yes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that maybe, just maybe, I’m not cut out for a job. Which leaves me precisely nowhere with regards to my next job or the future. What will I do? Only time will tell.
P.S: To my future husband – what with all the variables which will factor into my decision, you kinda got left out. Don’t take it personally huh!